As this semester is almost over, I have some thoughts to share. Well, I don’t feel Ok! My
problem is that a job half-started is a job not completed to my standards, and this was the case of many projects this semester. The most annoying project was the Simulation & Modeling project, I was given a Master Thesis about Artificial Intelligence, In which Neural Networks System identifies liver fibrosis features and distinguishes between the normal and the fibrotic liver. The main task was to simulate the performance of the multi-layered feed forward Neural network and a polynomial approximation of the interconnected neurons, which is not a pleasant taks for undergraduate student. I choosed this problem, I could’ve choosen an easier one, but challenge is my passion. The major problem was with the Polynomial approxiamtion code, it was a bad-designed code. That is, It was desinged for specific problem, and can’t be altered to fit another problem. Moreover, Neither the Thesis nor the Polynomial Approximation codes were documented, so I had to understand both codes (coded using MATLAB.), and to acheive the task. I spent long nights trying to solve the dilemma, and finally I’ve reached a point were I realized that the code I was given is trash and can’t do the problem.
This is considered uncompleted task to me! Thing is, I wasted my time doing this unsolvable higher-level problem, and this is completely wrong. It’s all or nothing for my mind, a tendency I would desperately like to overcome. This perfectionism is killing me!
Im just looking for some balance in my life, and I know exactly how to acheive it, as Aristotle said: “one can know the path to walk yet be prevented by incontinence” .
This might be a battle of the appetitive. Once my appetite to succeed overcomes my appetite for short term enjoyment of things that could be put off, then I will be unstoppable. There has got to be a way to encourage that Success Appetite so that I may stand upright again.