” There’s somethings no six-year-old boy in the world should have to be told, but the way things should be and the way things are hardly ever get together. The world’s a hard place, Danny. It don’t care. It don’t hate you and me, but it don’t love us, either. Terrible things happen in the world, and they’re things no one can explain. Good people die in bad, painful ways and leave the folks that love them all alone. Sometimes it seems like it’s only the bad people who stay healthy and proper…”
Stephen King – The Shining.
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.
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Something I’ve been trying to write but never managed to finish… It’s the silent emptiness of despair that’s filling my universe. I live in denial, I act normally most of the time, eventhough I deeply know that nothing is even close to normal, and normal is a very relative term. It could be normal, but it’s not. Something isn’t right and I know it. I’ve tried to run away, to evade, to disappear, to vanish, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I am more convinced than ever that I can change many, many things, but I can’t change myself. I can’t pretend, I can’t evade, and I can’t change what I am.
This could be depression, a very severe and advanced state of sadness, so deep that it blackened my surroundings and narrowed my universe to the point of chocking me to death. Not exactly death, but to a rather long term torture where I can’t even beg for death because I’m scared it could be worse. It could really be worse.
I can’t put an end to all this, because I am strained, but neither can I silently watch. I tried to escape and “live my life” only to come back more messed up than before. I see them every single night in my dreams, they’re alive, and their eyes are distant, expressionless. They lost interest in life, death, and the promised heaven after death. I can’t hide, not in a nightmare where I am the center of attention. I can’t hide from their inevitable reproachful starring eyes, but only it’s much more intimidating than that. It’s a hopeless look without the faintest trace of interest. Truth I’ve been trying to escape my entire life. It creeps, and it fills me with unbearable sadness and pain. It’s living in my subconscious, nurtured by my desperate impotence, by my fear. Fear is the right word. It’s the painful word I’ve been looking for all this time.
There’s no end to this, I am sentenced to this. I can’t change that. It’s either the suffocating endless hours of conscience pain, or the hollow emptiness agony of denial. Either fear of the aftermath of denial, or fear of the painful reality of any reckless desperate reaction. Either way, it’s a constant self-loathing state of disgust.
on 29 Jun 2008 at 7:30 pm # Jasim
I always say that, bad people live forever, whilst the good die young!
Look, I can say that I relate to that, to an extent. I wish I can say more but I didn’t get the whole idea behind it.
What I know, however, is that you can change things, you can change every single thing, Abed.
The depression, I went through that, and badly if I may, but I somehow managed to get out of it in one piece.
For now I will leave it this way, but believe me when I say things will change, for the only constant is change.
on 29 Jun 2008 at 7:34 pm # Abed Hamdan
Jasim:
I wish it’s that simple, but the truth is, certain things don’t change. It’s a matter of knowledge, a certainity. Allah Kareem.
on 29 Jun 2008 at 7:42 pm # sara
http://youtube.com/watch?v=k4DOX0FkIhI
on 29 Jun 2008 at 8:01 pm # LostWithin
It will get better it won’t last for ever !
No matter what don’t run away and face it as it comes ! it might hurt a little and seem more frightening just don’t run away !
Just hang in there , Allah kareem
yella today poetry w music 3alay
ابتسم, يكفيك أنك لم تزل حيا, و لست من الأحبة معدما! ”
قال: الليالي جرعتني علقما قلت: ابتسم و لئن جرعت العلقما
فلعل غيرك إن رآك مرنما طرح الكآبة جانبا و ترنما “
on 29 Jun 2008 at 11:16 pm # Maher
Dude, ana my solution to depression? KAROEKE! YES! believe it or not,,i read somewhere it works well…
hopefully this would be a dark cloud passing quickly!
Cheer up dude!!
on 30 Jun 2008 at 7:11 am # Abed Hamdan
Sara: thanks
LostWithin: It isn’t something to be faced. Thanks a million, again, kollek zo2
Maher: Not a bad idea at all. It’s a bit more complicated than that, thanks buddy.
on 30 Jun 2008 at 9:39 am # asoom
I’m confused, are these your words or were they taken out of something else?
If they’re your words…la’ la’ la’ la’ SHOO FEE??????
I agree with Jasim, you have more control over your affairs and mindset than you think you do!
on 30 Jun 2008 at 9:48 am # Abed Hamdan
asoom: Except for the first quote, they are my words. I know I have control over myself, but not to the extent of cheating myself.
on 30 Jun 2008 at 12:01 pm # sweetlikearose
3abed .. for the quote I would say .. it’s all about naturalism … nature doesn’t care to our suffering .. it doesn’t care whether it destroys our lives or it keeps them the same .. Nature is not a human thus u can’t apply the justice concept on it .. whether we like it or not ; it is inapplicable 3abed .. so I just can see it very clear .. : we have to live our lives without questioning justice ,, bcoz u never know..
For the silence and the fear that u’re living in .. we all should experience these moments when we just fear life … we all have these feelings but it’s delayed ya 3abed .. some experienced them w 5elso .. some are experiencing them now .. the other will experience them later .. it’s all about TIME ..
u now what is going on with me .. still I’m fighting .. not bcoz I’m strong .. but bcoz I want to survive ,, I’m so weak so to speak in front of life .. I know it can take everything that I have in a sec .. this is what I fear the most .. but sure I lately realized that we as human enjoys the ability to forget .. and in 2 years from now we’ll be laughing about what we’re saying today .. kolo bemor .. all will pass and life goes on ..
be STRONG .. never give up .. and remember this is me who’s telling u this
best of wishes w Bless u ..
on 30 Jun 2008 at 12:10 pm # Abed Hamdan
sweetlikeaore:
Dear sister,
I do agree, there’s nothing much we can do against nature.
I wrote this post without mentioning any reason and without any clarification, intentionally for so many reasons.
I know that nobody will have any solution, simply because there is no solution, and me not saying the reasons, because somethings should be kept personal.
It’s nothing to be strong against, you can either deny it, and live in denial, or you can re-act in a reckless way and end everything, which is also intimidating.
on 30 Jun 2008 at 12:39 pm # sweetlikearose
No one is asking u to change who u are or the way u’re thinking .. it’s perfect .. it’s great … so be the way u are ..
the more I read the more I respect ur point of view ..
2 simple words that describe u and u understand them very well :
1. Brave
2. selfless
on 30 Jun 2008 at 12:41 pm # Abed Hamdan
sweetlikearose:
sorry because I didn’t show the meaning of the post, it needs clarification. And thanks for understanding, thanks for the nice words.
on 01 Jul 2008 at 5:58 am # Noura
It seems that me, you and many people like us don’t need Mr.King to spell it out for us, we know it first hand and from experience..
You sound as if you’re holding on your shoulder a heavy load and can’t put it down..I feel like this most of the times..Some type of people can easily let go and live free while others can’t, their conscience won’t let them so they feel tortured..we all experienced your feelings each for different reasons, I’ve learned to live with them..
And no, you’re not depressed, One day like this and another like that and it will balance out..You are much stronger than that..your problem is that you are aware of what is going on in the world and you have a dameer ..
Allah yehadi balak
on 01 Jul 2008 at 7:03 am # Abed Hamdan
Noura:
Thank you Noura. Thank you so much. Thanks for understanding, this is precisely what I was referring to in my post. You fully understood it.
Sometimes we need to go through the same course of pain to understand others’ pain.
and you know Noura, sometimes too much awareness is a curse.
Thank you.
on 01 Jul 2008 at 8:01 pm # noura
yeah, true.. like that line of poetry : ” Zou al3akl yashka fee alna3eem b3aklihee w akhou aljhl fee elshakawaty yen3mou ” yay, i still remember
lazem ne7mol khfeef like so many, at least we can try !!
on 02 Jul 2008 at 7:00 am # Abed Hamdan
noura:
wallah sada2ti…iza el wa7ad bedal 7amel foo2 ktafo haik..ya benfejer…ya beto2 !
on 02 Jul 2008 at 3:14 pm # Mariyah
I’m so sorry, Abed, that you are going through this. Depression is very difficult. I’d like to say it will just go away but it isn’t that simple. If you have someone you can talk to, either friend or professional, it may, inshallah, help ease the depression over time. Depression isn’t something to be taken lightly and its not just a matter of “cheering up”. Try to find one thing that makes you happy: writing your blog, singing, drawing,…whatever and do it as often as you can!! Focus on the sunshine and avoid the darkness. All my best to you.
on 02 Jul 2008 at 3:24 pm # Abed Hamdan
Mariyah:
Actually I think you are right, because it’s been getting worse.
Yes, I do need something that interest me, a hope maybe. I’ve been constantly focusing on the dark side of thing. It’s been constant, and it’s getting a bit serious. Thank you.
on 02 Jul 2008 at 7:38 pm # Hani Obaid
Wow, you seem to be carrying the whole world on your shoulders. I hope it gets better.
on 02 Jul 2008 at 8:53 pm # Abed Hamdan
Hani Obaid:
I am forced to do so. Nsha’Allah I’ll be better. I’m a survivor
on 08 Jul 2008 at 11:36 pm # Malinku
There will be a light on the other side of this, Abed. Your pain is huge and real and dark, but the fact that you still get out of bed every morning says something about your level of courage. There are many who do not, who choose to lay down and die when life becomes too full of pain for them to bear. But you are still here, still breathing and healing and shuffling through the depression. Live a minute at a time for now if you have to, but keep moving forward. Eventually you will find the light again. I will make du’ua for you every day.
on 09 Jul 2008 at 7:06 am # Abed Hamdan
Malinku:
The soothing hope that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, is what keep me going.
Thanks for you words, it means so much to me